Thought Questions: Day 19: If you had a friend…?

While reading Danielle’s blog Underland to Wonderland, I came across a post in which she talked about the website Thought Questions and their 365 thought-provoking questions to ask yourself over the course of a year. I decided that I would start answering one of the questions each day for the next year. Not only will this give me a reason to blog every day for a year straight, it will get my creative juices flowing–and I think it will be fun! If you join in please leave me a comment so I can see your answers too. :)

Day 19: If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?

If you had asked me this question a short time ago, I would have had to answer with an emphatic “not very long at all”. I have always tended to be hard on myself, and that can turn into very negative, bitchy self-speak:

“You really think that looks good on you?”

“You’re not smart enough for that. What if you screw up and embarrass yourself in front of everyone?”

“I can’t believe you spent the whole day listing to music and reading instead of doing something productive.”

If someone else talked that way to me, I would show them the door and probably the sidewalk, too! It’s only recently started to hit me just how damaging all of that negative self-talk really is in your life. It sounds corny when people tell you to replace a negative thought with a positive one, but I like to think of it as a problem-solving situation. You’re not just “thinking positive”, you’re identifying the problem that led to the negative thought in the first place and coming up with a solution.

“I’ve been so steady with my workout routine that I’ll have the arms for this tank top by summer.”

“I can spend my day off reading up on this topic so I’ll be informed enough to talk about it.”

“I worked hard this week and enjoyed my day of rest. Now I’m geared up and ready to be even more productive in the week ahead!”

That’s how my friends would talk to me. That is how I will choose to talk to myself.

10 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Beautifully said! you are so right! I tend to be very hard to myself but I am really trying to get better because it does not do any good. I should encourage myself the same way I encourage others!

  2. I’ve never heard of this question before. It is very interesting to think about isn’t it? And such a good exercise to keep your confidence in check! I love this!

  3. That’s an odd question. I can be hard on myself at times but I’m usually pretty reasonable and for the most part, I treat myself well so there’s not much negativity going on. I like friends who are supportive and even if they lie to me I don’t mind as long as it’s a small lie and with good intention.

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